Envy.
Today it is encompassing me.
I've done a little blog browsing, and now I feel like I want to puke.
Vacations...bleh.
Amusement Parks...double bleh.
Happily posed family photos...triple bleh.
It "seems" as if everyone is so perfectly perfect, and I am not.
My day has been terrible.
My past few months haven't been too terribly wonderful either.
I lean on Abby too much and count on her to consistently be able to cope, and recently she has had a couple of health issues which have flipped her inside out. It's as if I am re-teaching her how to manage herself at times. Even cheer, which has always been the highlight of her day, is not making her happy. It feels like the final straw on a very weak bale of hay. I feel incapable. I would truly give anything for her to feel better.
I just want normal and relatively healthy. I won't even ask for perfect health, because heaven knows that is not in our realm of reality.
And, I'd really love it if my damn mortgage company would stop calling me incessantly.
6 comments:
I find myself getting jealous of people as well. Even people I'm close to, even when those people have problems too. If someone has healthy children, I feel like they have everything.
The ironic thing is, I'm sure some people are jealous of me. I guess the cliche "the grass is always greener on the other side" rings true.
Hope things get better for you soon!
Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry :( I really wish I had some great words of wisdom to add here, but the truth is, things aren't all that great with me either. Just sucks! I hope everything gets better real fast, and I'm sure hope Abby gets feeling better soon. Man, I'm sooo sorry!
It's too early in the morning from a night of very interupted sleep to have any great comments...but try to not torture yourself and look at blogs when you're feeling even a little bit down. I've done it myself and it's not a good idea. I've found most people just post the positive which is good we all need more 'positive' in our life but they usually leave out how little jonny puked all over the amusement ride and they argued with their husband during the entire vacation....
I find myself posting all the good stuff to help me remember all the good times and things Im grateful for when I have moments like this. I think we all go through these same emotions from time to time. You are amazing and bring so much insight and inspiration to many! Try not to be so hard on yourself. Everyone has their battles...no matter how perfect the cover is. Love ya, Jen!
Oh Jen, I'm bummed you are having a rough day. No family is perfect even though the image they put out there is. There is always something, you are just honest enough to talk about it. I love it! And you'll get through it like you always do. Love ya girl.
I am impressed with your ability to share raw emotion. You have a gift. Keep writing. Keep sharing with the world. Everyone has trial and challenge and I think we mostly post the positive and downplay the negative. I think it's the way we try and cope, but every once in awhile someone posts a heart felt challenge, a real trial and we all feel the pain, the agony and the endurance that it takes to live this "TEST" called mortality. You are never alone, and even though I never get to see you or your folks, I have just read some of your blog and I am impressed with your talent, your personality, and you!
Tell your folks a big hello and tell them to come and see us some time. You're invited too.
Susan Buxton
Oakley, Utah
P.S. Our life is challenging, but yes, my posts are mostly positive (although tough to find those moments sometimes)
www.susanbuxton.blogspot.com
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