Time for Tea.

Party Number Two was kind-of a dream come true for me.

I have never been to a tea party, and thought the idea of one sounded darling.

But, I don't own a single teacup, nor do I own china...or silver...so, creating a tea party seemed a little out of the question.

One evening, a good friend and I were discussing Ab's party, and she threw out the idea of doing a tea party. I told her how Ab would LOVE that, but unfortunately for her I am domestically challenged. This friend (who shall remain anonymous:) then graciously offered she and her mother's services and tea party stuff.

And, I am not kidding about the stuff.

A few delicious bakeries, and 10 or so boxes later, this cute girl once again got spoiled with....

...this.

(Fruit Kabobs, Ham Rolls, Cucumber Sandwiches - the hit of the day, and Ham Salad)

(Petite Eclairs, Tea Cakes, and Butter Cookies.)

The Doll Table

(Top: Molly, Emily, Abby D, My Abby)

(Bottom: Tay, Abby F., and Abbie P.)

Don't think for one minute I had anything to do with the details. I merely followed directions from the most fabulous party planners I have yet to know.

The girls ate lunch, opened gifts, decorated hand sewn purses (again, not by me), played charades, had a little fashion show, and giggled lots and lots. My mom and I served the girls in aprons, and referred to them all as "My Lady." Abby kind-of got really into the bossing us around piece;) And...can I mention that by some miracle Deakon napped the ENTIRE party. It couldn't have been more perfect.

I was so impressed with the girls manners and behavior. It is pretty difficult for a group of seven year olds to be confined to party dresses and rules for a couple of hours, but they were awesome. They really have been taught well by good parents.

I am so lucky to have people in my life who are so willing to help. This is a party that will be remembered for Abby's life, and that is something I cannot repay.

Party Number One.

This cute girl...
(Who looks way too old)

was pretty lucky, as usual, and got to celebrate her birthday with two parties.

Party Number One was celebrated at the ever-popular Chuckee-Cheese with family and a few good friends. The kids had fun earning tickets, and I actually enjoyed the pizza. I grew up celebrating my birthdays at Chuckee-Cheese, so it was a little surreal to have my daughter turning seven in the same classy joint.

Ab was so excited to get a "Big Girl" bike with "no characters" from gma/gpa Payne. She has gotten so brave lately, and hopped on the bigger bike like a pro.



I just love her...

Why is July in such a Hurry????

I want it to stay forever.

I can't get enough of the holidays, parades, pools and heat. I love it all...

The fourth:

Ab did not care at all about the candy. She liked stealing it from the surrounding boys, but other than that...she was good.

The necklaces on the other hand were a must have.

Deak may look innocent in this picture...

but it is only because he was like that moments earlier. Don't judge my look...I know the fake smile is plastered...but to also note....Deakon's right hand is thickly immersed and clamped down upon my head of hair...I was being attacked.

Just kicking back and doing some clapping...

And that was just the beginning of the month...

Denial.

One can live a perfectly content life in denial.

We know those people...the ones who push their problems under the carpet and go to the grocery store to stock up on Cream of Chicken Soup. They always are smiling, but you can see, if you look closely, the thick layer of daily make-up it must require to get to that place. But, to them, the make-up is easier than feeling pain. In the land of denial, one can sit back, relax and feel okay with externalizing the hand life has dealt them.

I admit to being envious of those people at times.
Moments I wanted to pretend that Deak is just a typical three year old.
Short moments that can only last as long as a Yo Gabba Gabba episode.
Because - when you deal with reality...it requires effort. And quite frankly, I am a little tired.

There was a time when my hopes for Deak were based around he fitting in with his peer group and developing in a way society deems socially appropriate. As he has grown, I have learned how naive those expectations once were. Not because they are impossible, but because they aren't important. He is important, not society and not his friends. My dreams for Deak now involve him growing to be the happiest he can be, and becoming self-reliant. I believe it is my job to facilitate those dreams by providing as many opportunities for him as I know how, to create his own happiness.

But, it was not easy to change dreams.
It is a heart-breaking, gradual, work in progress. It is a process that has incorporated countless episodes of middle of the night tears, and moments where it has felt like reality has decided to take a strong arm to my gut. And, my gut was pretty bruised to begin with.

I am scared for Deak to go to school. Scared out of my freaking mind. I believe that the dreams and hope, although somewhat altered, I have for my son are real, and will happen. I want to keep them safely bubbled around his cute little head of white-blond curls. I don't want it to be burst by people who think it is okay to live in denial.

Hope is what I have.
That's it. No textbooks, or theories, or checklists.
Hope that has required more than I knew I could do, faith and patience....LOTS of patience.
I'm not giving it up.
Watch out Preschool Teachers.

Over it.

Over IT.

This evil pile of crap...

And...this evil room that is made for piling the crap.

I do not know how in the HELL a little family of four can go through so much freaking laundry. I hate looking at it, loading it, folding it and putting it away.

I so need a wife...

(and yes, I just did an entire post, including pictures, just to bitch about it)

(and double yes...I did need to swear to emphasize my hatred.)

First Baby.

When it's late and we're alone, Abby will usually let me hold her. In those moments, which are becoming rare, when I look down at her beautiful eyes, sometimes I still see my baby. My first one. The one who opened my eyes as to what this life is really about. The one who came so early, just because she couldn't wait, and hasn't stopped since. Abby loves it when I call her my first baby...she knows that spot is hers and hers alone. All the hoopla and attention that sometimes surrounds Deak cannot take away the fact that she was mine first. She was my first love, my first tummy kiss, and the first tiny body to take my breath away.

Even though I mention Abby's spunk and stubbornness a lot, lately especially, she has really been growing up. She is so full of unconditional love for her brother, and tries so hard to include him in everything she does. I am so proud of the way she treats him and others, and know her kind heart will take her to all the right places in this life.

Today my first baby is seven and I can hardly believe it. SEVEN? Sounds so old...I feel like the past seven years I have let get away from me too quickly.

Happy Birthday First Baby Girl.

(Age 3)

(Yesterday, after dressing Deak in his new school shoes, and giving him one of her backpacks, she decided to read him a book we have about getting ready for preschool. She decided she's going to "read it to him every day, so he's ready." She also let me know I needed to stay with him the first day, and give his teachers a list of things he "does" so they would know what to do. She's just a little protective...He's pretty thrilled, as the pictures show, and loves Abby more than anyone in this world.)

Sin City.

LOVE going to Deak's conference...and so do they...

LOVE reconnecting with our friends.

LOVE spending time with my family, especially time which included drinking frozen margaritas poolside.

LOVE rooms that include jacuzzi tubs and tvs in the bathroom.

LOVE going to dinner and for drinks with all the "Moms" and being told I was drinking the HARD stuff. (Diet Red Bull) Still haven't figured that one out...

LOVE finding out that Deak is in a Ford commercial and on billboards in Texas...(Ford supports a Golf Tournament for the Chromosome 18 Research Center.)

Love that I got to tell Deak's story to a film crew producing a documentary on this photographer who spends hours photographing our kids. They spoke to Deak and I for nearly an hour and a half...and were in tears by the end. That kid does it for everyone.

LOVE being around our people.

People we never knew we'd need.

People that weren't part of our blanket plan when we decided to have children.

People I could not live without.

They help me feel normal, and okay, and loved.

We swam every day, and seriously could not get enough of the beautiful pools. Each day, new people (not associated with our conference) would come and ask about Deakon. I am pretty used to this, and never mind letting people play with him...as long as they're tactful. Some of the next pictures include a guy from some country in Europe (I'm assuming) swimming with Deak. He had spent some time watching him, and then asked sweetly if he could swim with him for a minute. Much to Blair's protective dismay, I said..."Sure." I quickly learned that when he said "swim" he meant "swim." He had Deak kicking and fully submerged...and Deak LOVED it. It was an interesting experience though:)...

Another mom who wasn't affiliated with the conference and I hadn't met before then. She was having some difficulties with her own son, and when she saw Deak, she was prompted to come and talk.

Abs and one of her two bestest buddies from the Day Program, Kayla. We will be visiting her hometown area next year for the conference.

Some Friends...

Julia: A Chromosome 18 Conference is not a conference with out her.

This is Deak with the oldest living adult I have met with Ring 18...Ashley, 28. Her parents trail blazed alone with her as a child, and now she has restored and increased hope for our son. It was amazing to meet and speak with her.

Deak with Lindsey and Keona...his other two Ring 18 buddies. Yes...only four of us. I told you...Deak's a rare one.

Deak taking part (tentatively) with the group picture of all our sweet kids.

With Emarie, our friend from Utah with 18q deletion. Isn't she a doll?

Abs and Gwen...other bestest buddy.

Remy, Kayla's sister.

The strip was our least favorite part of the trip by far. We did LOVE In and Out, and getting presents at the M&M store...but we only lasted a couple of hours there. The strip is just gross - especially with kids.

So, our trip to Sin City was not filled with a whole lot of corruption - just an overall good time. I treasure this conference and these people. It is always full of helpful information, but more importantly...full of memories and hope I can make it another year.

Thank you infinity to our families for helping us have this experience this year.