Good Day.

Today was a good day.

*While at Shriner's today, consulting with Deak's Speech therapist - she mentioned that, "Deakon is an extremely smart boy; a lot smarter than he can express right now." He had just been given a "test" to see what he could understand in expressive language and I must proudly say...got 100%!! I was even surprised at points to see all that he understood and recognized, as he was given words and pictures I have never shown him. I've always known how smart my Deakon is, and I swear I spend half my life trying to prove it to others; so, to have my knowledge validated without prompting, by a professional...was incredibly validating, and brought tears to my eyes.

*Again, at Shriner's, I was in the Cafeteria getting Deak and I some lunch. Deakon did not like that his food was not immediately placed in front of him and proceeded to SCREAM at me from his high-chair 20 feet away. The sweetest elderly man (a "Shriner") came and sat with Deakon and talked with him while I gathered our lunch. When I returned to the table the man (George) turned to me and said, "He is telling me about all his constitutional rights being violated." I said, "Oh, if you only knew." What a kind soul.

*My dad called to let me know that his racing buddies (NISH Motorsports) are honoring Deak in their annual silent auction. They just keep giving and giving...

*I got to vacuum my house with my newly given vacuum and LOVED every minute. (Mostly because I don't think I have really vacuumed my house in over a month, and it is the nicest vacuum I have ever used.)

*I walked into the family room tonight to find Abby sharing her markers with Deakon and teaching him to draw. He was in Heaven.

I am one lucky lady.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa....BATGIRL.

Abby had a couple of ideas when it came to costumes this year. At first she really wanted to be a Corpse Bride, because she loved that movie. She finally ended up settling on Batgirl. The cute part about her decision was that she did it for her dad. She knows he loved Batman (and still does) and wanted to impress him. She looks up to him more than she'd ever dare admit.

We have had quite the week of Halloween Festivities. Abby has gotten full use out of her $20 Walmart costume; wearing it at least 5 or 6 times to various parties and school activities. I think the costume held up pretty well for a Wally special.

This is the first year I have "matched" costumes with Deak and Ab, and I happen to think it turned out pretty dang cute.

The Howe Cousins at a Halloween party thrown by Marilyn and Craig.

(Deak is trying to figure out why he only has one eye.)

Thanks to some good old fashioned blog-stalking, I copied an idea and made "Dinner" inside a pumpkin. It actually turned out pretty good, and I decided to take a picture of Abby eating it for proof.

Before Trick-or-Treating...although they had already gone trick-or-treating at Blair and my Dad's work and totally SCORED! It turns out, it is more about the competition for Abby, and she waited and waited for Blair to get home all afternoon.

Ab refused to get in this picture...there were "too many."

The Payne Cousins (kind-of; I cut off half of Camden); Getting ready to do some damage.

(Obviously Abby's a little pissed off - due to the waiting, at this point :)

Oh good, there's Tigger.

What a fun week.

Abby also performed in a Halloween program with her 1st Grade class. I brought the video camera to that one, and because the camera is completely outdated, no video will be available on this blog. But, just in case you are feeling left-out...I'll throw you a teaser.

Abby's line (that she practiced every day) was, "What is orange, white, black and waddles?"

(Answer: A Penguin with a Pumpkin.)

We Heart Troy.

Okay, so maybe I heart Troy.

Either way, Ab and I had a great time seeing High School Musical 3 this past weekend.

We left the boys home to their football game watching and food eating and went with the Johnston gals, my sis Kelli, and my niece Taylor...and a few extra cardboard celebs. (Which Abby insisted I take her picture by. I think she is getting the hang of this blogging thing.)

I thought the movie was really cute, and I am even going to admit to buying the soundtrack at Walmart after seeing the show. There is nothing wrong with a good old fashioned cheesy pop soundtrack - especially when it can balance out some of my other not so child appropriate music faves.

I LOVE spending time with Ab doing girly things and am so lucky to have a daughter to use as a legitimate excuse to see this movie :)

Show Me the Money.

I can't help but think he just may be in the next Tom Cruise movie.

I Thought I Was Ready...

"Mom, Abby D. told me that "B" didn't like Deakon."
"What are you talking about Abby? I don't know "B."
"She said he thinks he looks funny; like a toad. Oh, and she said he doesn't like the jersey he is wearing."
"Abby - seriously, what are you talking about? And, who the hell is this "B" kid?"
"In my class. He saw our family picture."
"Oh."

I thought I was ready.
Clusters and clusters of my deepest parental fears circled in my head for weeks after I had been told about Deakon's diagnosis. I hurt for him...because of the people I knew would try to hurt him as he grew. I had to feel that pain - so strongly - in order to truly move forward and prepare myself for what he and I would endure together in this life. I knew it would be emotionally draining at times, but what part of being a parent isn't? I also felt like I understood that in Deakon's case, we would probably have the opportunity to forgive others' ignorance more often.

I thought I was ready.
But, I wasn't.
I want to find that kid at school tomorrow, ask him "Who the hell does he think he is?", and duct tape his mouth shut.
But - he is six.
And I am the school counselor.
And I would get fired.

So, I told her to tell "B" to "stuff it" the next time he said anything about our family, and we had a talk. A talk about how she will have to deal with a few more "B's" in this world. She knows - she knows without me telling her. She was born with tough enough skin to handle it, unlike her mother.
Lucky for "B" - it could've been worse, but I understand that for me...it could've been worse also. I doubt "toad" will be the worst word we face.

I just don't think I am as prepared as I thought I was.
Obviously.

Big Girls Don't Cry.

Independent. Stubborn. Smart.

Quite the threesome, or deadly combination?

Well the answer is...depends on the day; and for the past few days, Abby has been sick. You can see it in her swollen red eyes, hear it in her raspy voice, and feel it in her warm body. She knows she is sick too, but absolutely refuses to admit it - to me, and to the world. Abby never wants to appear as if she has been weakened - she will, and I have seen her, eat a freshly cut lemon and act as if it is the most amazing thing she has ever tasted...if needed to, in order to prove herself. In her mind sickness = weakness, and it is like pulling teeth to get her to slow down and take a minute for herself.

I took her to the doctor yesterday and warned him ahead of time that she would most likely tell him she was "fine." I told him that she had only briefly mentioned to me that her throat "hurt a little," and even though she felt as if she may have just been deep-fried, she would most likely refuse to admit any other sort of pain. The doctor asked her repeated questions while examining her and each time the response was, "No. That doesn't hurt." Abby's fever was 103.6 and the doctor said her lymph nodes were extremely inflamed - to the point where they should have been painful to even touch. Abby just sat there, listened, and asked for a Halloween Sticker. The doctor looked at her and said, "You are a tough little girl." I smiled...and actually felt a little proud. Proud, because although I have conflicting emotions on whether or not I enjoy her reluctance to admit defeat, I was never a "tough" girl. I admire so much of Abby's character traits, and often wish I could learn to develop that tough core of confidence and strength that she possesses.

Lucky for us, the doctor knew better than to listen to Ab and prescribed a super dose of an anti-biotic and codeine-tainted cough syrup ( I know...good stuff.:) I am sure that she will make a miraculous recovery and be well in time to see High School Musical 3 tomorrow. If she is not, she will definitely fake it enough to make it. A few moments earlier, she exclaimed, "I have not been able to play with my friends for 4 days, and it feels like a year. And, if I didn't play with my friends for a year...I would just die."

In that case, let's all hope for a speedy recovery.

My Disneyland.

"I never really knew this place existed," I thought as Deak and I drove up the gorgeous Fall tree lined streets of Federal Heights. I was reminded of area parades growing up and seeing older men riding bikes and wearing interesting little maroon top hats with tassels. I never knew who they were, or what they stood for. As I grew older, I recalled hearing about "Shriners" and I honestly believed it was a hospital for Jewish people...I had no idea.

As Deak and I walked in, I looked around at the surprisingly small, but immaculate building. There were only two women working at the registration desks, and there was not a wait. We were pleasantly checked in and offered some complimentary Girl Scout Cookies - which became helpful when Deakon decided eating 15 of them was due compensation for his time. I looked at the other mothers, there with their precious babies; some still in infant seats, some closer to graduating high school - but all of us with the same dream. I felt a deep connection with these women and their kind smiles of understanding. I knew their questions of "How old is he?" were empathetically-guided, and not curiosity-driven. My heart swelled when Deak blew kisses and waved to his new friends; I sensed he felt as peaceful as I.

We were greeted with, "I know I have seen this Deakon before; he has been my only Deakon..." by our amazing Orthopedic doctor. He had, in fact, seen Deakon...two years earlier, at Primary Children's Hospital. He remembered details of our visit, and allowed me to spend some time bragging about all Deak has accomplished since he saw him last. The doctor let us know that all of Deak's X-Rays were awesome and that he has FULL confidence he will walk well. He remarked about Deakon's charismatic personality and filled us full of hope. He also approved for Shriner's Hospital to begin treating Deakon with physical, occupational and speech therapy. I felt as if all of my "wishes" had been granted.

A day full of dreams coming true - just like Disneyland.

So, now I know.

I know that those darling men in those silly hats stand for something amazing. Their fundraising efforts are giving my baby the ability to walk.

So, the next time you have a chance to help any Shriner's Hospital... please do what you can. It is truly the happiest place on earth.