It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

Christmas is here.

It tried to come early in the stores, but at my house it is not welcome until the day after Thanksgiving. I know, a little "Scroogey" but I don't want the uniqueness of the Holiday to be smeared before it's due time.

We kicked off the season this week with an awesome tradition; the Festival of Trees.

I have a little bit of a personal soapbox about where "Every Penny" of the donated money to Primary Children's Hospital is spent, considering they do charge quite the pretty penny for their services. But, I do admit that I haven't found any doctors better - and we have seen pretty much all of them there.

I was in tears by Aisle Two. The families/friends/decorators put everything they have into a Christmas tree which means so much more to them than ornaments and glitter. They represent in some cases, Angels, and in some cases, Hope. I felt so much gratitude as I viewed the portraits and read the stories; how easily it could've been me.

(The Kiddos at Dinner.)

We brought Megan with us to celebrate. We have been feeling a little sad lately because she isn't going to be as close to us as she is now, in a week or so. She is a sweet friend to Abby, and has been such a pleasure to get to know. It was cute to watch them hand in hand, talk about the trees and what they loved. Abby and Megan were old enough this year to notice the pictures sitting next to the trees, and began asking for the babies' names. Abby would look at me every so often, with her little knowing crooked eye, and I know she was thinking,"Mom, this one's like Deak huh." She understands how lucky we are to have her brother with us, and wanted to know each pictures' name. The girls were so respectful.

(By the Tree of Trucks)

(By the American Girl Doll Tree - their dream come true.)

(Deakon LOVES Santa this year, and tried to pull the beard off him. Good thing it was real.)

About a week ago, I began teaching Deak to say, "Ho Ho Ho." At first it sounded like "ah, ah, ah" but now he uses a husky voice and says, "Eh Eh Eh." Last night while looking at a tree adorned with Santas', Deak looked at me and said "Eh Eh Eh" and then clapped for himself. It was so neat to see him connect what I had taught him in such a short time.

Event #2

This morning, we went with my sisters and mom to a "Breakfast with Santa."

(Kelli and my mom. My dad is currently hunting Coyotes -seriously.)

(Tay and Abs)

(Abs and Maddi: her idol)

(Abby very intently telling Santa something. I think she has come up with a plan to tell each Santa something different, so she gets lots of presents - it's just a gut feeling.)

*Note - actually, I asked her and she asked both of them for an American Girl Doll...Good Girl.)

The Spirit of Christmas does not get exemplified better than with adorable smiles, and feelings of gratitude.

What a Good Start to the season!!

Some Truth

Life is not always cake and although Deak is definetly made of miracles and hope and cuddles - yesterday, he was made of something else.
I am thinking along the lines of a different kind of four letter word.

This boy is two, and there are days when he wants to remind everyone around him.

He yelled at his Speech Therapist for an entire half hour yesterday.
The only time he didn't yell is when she paid direct attention to him, did what he wanted her to do, and didn't require him to talk. Which made the whole "producing speech" bit a little hard.

He then went to Occupational Therapy where he proceeded to arch his back, lie on the floor, and smile. Every time he was moved, he screamed. He got his way and bossed the therapist into swinging with him for a good twenty minutes.

His physical therapist then waved and smiled at him as we were leaving. Rather than his usual response of waves, claps and giggles - he looked at her and grunted.

Let's just say...by the end of the afternoon, I was in tears. I understand it is hard to be him, but sometimes it is hard to be me too, and I had just now wasted a very valuable couple of hours. Don't get me wrong, I completely empathize with Deakon's need to tell the world to "Kiss off" every so often; I just wish I didn't have to drive to Salt Lake to allow him the opportunity.

The second we got into the car, he was all smiles and giggles, and perfectly content watching Diego while sitting in his carseat(although the onryness did continue throughout the day periodically). Blair laughed at me when I told him that I made Deakon do some therapy at home with me for a good 30 minutes when we returned, as a consequence. Trust me, Deakon definetly knows how to manipulate...and it doesn't work so well on me. (Before you think I am the meanest mother around, I should say I did reward him with fruit snacks during the therapy...I am not that cold-hearted.)

I guess I've learned that I am not the only one who sometimes needs a break from all the therapies and doctor visits.

Hope

I hope for lots of things...

I hope that tomorrow I will wake up on time.

I hope that I don't run out of soda.

I hope that Abby has a good day when she is away from me.

I hope that my kids don't get sick.

I hope that the kids I work with at school are okay.

I hope that I don't bounce any checks.

I don't take Hope for granted.

It was taken away from me before I understood that it was something that I didn't have to give up.

I know better now.

The feeling when Hope is restored is something that I cannot write with words...it is from above.

I wasn't looking forward to today; It just sounded exhausting. Deak had therapy at home this morning and then we headed to Primary's for a go-round with the Cranio-facial team. (aka 6 Doctor visits). After that, we were headed to Deak's endocrinologist for another appointment. All in all, it totaled about 9 different doctors/therapists in one day. Deak is such a trooper.

I tried my hardest to be pleasant and warm with the nurses/employees. I was hopeful that my kindness, albeit forced at times, would be returned. The second doctor we met with was one we have seen before. He has done a surgery on Deak and hasn't seen him in a year or so. We walked in the door and the doctor stated, "WOW!!!! Look at him!!!"

I smiled, and politely said, "I know."

He was astonished at the changes Deak has made in the past year and a half. He was even more impressed after viewing his medical records which showed his normal MRI and relatively clean bill of health.

"Mrs. Howe...I have full hope for him that he will continue to progress and become a well functioning adult."

He then proceeded to teach me how to talk to Deakon about his sexual endeavors as a young man (due to his genetic condition)...well meaning, and full of hope that he will grow to marry and want children.

I can't recall his words without tears.

I have hope for Deakon. It did not need to be regained...but the doctor's words fed me. They give me strength to make it through his countless therapies and appointments. They allow me to feel as if I am heading in the right direction.

They are priceless.

If you come by my house this Christmastime (Which I hope you all do), you will notice my tree is adorned with ornaments reading, Hope. Those four letters hold so much meaning in my life, and I believe in them with all my heart.

I hope for you, that you will believe in them too...

Stop by...I promise you will.

The Past Weekish in Pictures (and some words because I can't control myself.)

The "After-the-meal" movie that I didn't see.

Thanks to a Deakon who decided it would be fun to explore all the other opportunities a movie theatre holds besides actual movies.

Oh yea, and he threw up through his nose...not because he was sick....because he likes flinging forward out of my arms which requires me to brace his stomach...pushing on his huge, little, always full, belly.

Blair, Ab and Maddi enjoyed themselves though.

Abby's Self portrait on Thanksgiving.

I kind-of think it's genius.

The "After the meal" nap with Grandpa on Thanksgiving.

They enjoyed the Christmas episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.

(You can guess who chose that one)

Classic Skating with Abby's friend, Alyssa.

They were so cute.

Deakon cheesing it at Classic...apparently he enjoyed himself also.
(The people watching was quite interesting.)

Beauty and the Beast at Northridge with our awesome adventure buddies.

(Oh and this was an adventure...5 little girls and one allergic reaction at Olive Garden).

Abby was so excited because it was her first "play."

She loved it.

I would include pictures of our activities over this past Holiday weekend, but Blair and I declared it a "stay-cation" and officially relaxed, went out to eat for every meal, did not go to church, and did not pull out our camera.

It was fantastic.

If I had a Vampire...

So, truth be told, I am having a pretty heavy day at work. I need a small break, and after this past weekends' mania, this is where my brain went. Call it sick if you will, but it works.

Blair was a trooper and took me to see Twilight this past weekend. I felt he needed to get a taste of the books that took me away from my family for weeks at a time. I am not sure if he was just appeasing me, but he did say he did not HATE the movie, and I
considered that a win.

We got home from the movie around 10:30, and after the kids were secure in bed, I decided I REALLY needed some nachos from 7-11.(Who doesn't need those at 10:30 PM anyway?) Back in the olden days of our marriage, he would've picked his little butt up and made good on my irrational request.

Ummm...not so much anymore. All I got out of him in response was, "Oh."
I then said in return, "Well...if you were Edward you would fly and get some right now."
Blair then said, with eyes not leaving the ever-important newscast of Sportscenter,"I can't fly. Sorry."

Empathy at its' best.

So, of all the things that I could wish for in a vampire husband; My choice would be to have nachos from 7-11 on demand. I'm telling you...yet another sign I am getting old.

Now, my question for you is...What would you want if you had a Vampire Husband?
My bet is that it might be a little better than crusty nachos.

Here it is.

I spent two to three years of my life in love with Jordan Knight. I begged my parents for magazines at Von's and cut out posters depicting various images of Jordan and his high hair. My neighbor, Abbey, and I would sit in her bedroom and listen to our tapes over and over again; memorizing every word to every song. My favorite being, "Cover girl."

I will admit to cheating on Jordan a few times with his band mate Donnie, although those times were short and meaningless. They were most often decisions made in a hurry, when another friend had already "called" Jordan for her own. My heart was always with Jordan.

When my family moved to Utah from California, I was devastated. I was almost eleven years old, and didn't want to leave my friends, kind-of boyfriend J.J. (aah...I can still recall his T&C tee-shirt and shell necklace as if it were yesterday), and life I had behind. As a way to help lesson the blow, soon after we moved to Utah my parents surprised my sister and I with New Kids on the Block concert tickets. We were so excited to watch them at the Marriot Center in Provo.

Now, 18ish years later...my love returned. And like the infamous Celine Dion song..."It was all coming back to me..."

I was twelve years old again, along with hundreds of other scantily clad old women. The proof of age was in the stretch-marked pot-bellies that hung out over every tight pair of Lees jeans in the joint. I was relieved to have worn a jacket to cover my own muffin pack up.

Especially when "It" happened. (aka...the nod.)

That young man there on the right in the above picture is my Jordan.

Near the beginning of the concert, I turned to my friend Tami, and let her know it was my goal to get some sort of special "something" from Jordan. She said, "Okay..." with an undertone of You're smoking something lady.

This is when the "Spirit Fingers/Jazz Hands" emerged....

Due to the fact that the range of dance ability I possess varies from "Tapping the circle step" to doing the "Roger Rabbit"...I was limited in my choices of fancy attention-seeking moves. So, I reverted to wiggling my fingers and screaming at the top of my lungs each time Jordan made his way to my part of the stage.

And then it happened...an opportunity presented itself like a beacon from a cloud:

The girl in front of me sat down to better examine her glow necklaces and possibly re-tie her shirt. Meanwhile, Jordan danced his manly body to my side of the stage and sat down with a clear look at moi. I noticed him looking my way (Although he basically had no choice due to positioning and the fact that we were on the seventh row - but I try not to focus on that detail). His eyes met mine, and I thought to myself, "There is no way this is possible. It is destined." I then did what any respectable adult would do in my situation - I glanced towards him, pointed to myself, and mouthed, "Me?"
All kidding aside people...he then shook his head "Yes."

I felt my heart race and then in a moment of really bad decision making - I did the "Spirit Fingers." I couldn't help it - my arms transformed into a giant uncontrollable wiggle machine that had no off button.

I guess it is suffice to say I didn't get the "Meet me Backstage Later" note I was hoping for after that.

I am pretty sure my partners' in crime (shown above) believed the "Spirit Fingers" part of this story. (Mostly because they have been lucky enough to personally view my dancing repertoire in various locations). I am not so sure they believe the love connection was restored, albeit momentarily, between Jordan and I. I am not so sure you will believe me either.

But, I believe me.

And for five seconds last Saturday night, I was twelve, and Jordan was my boyfriend.

Beat that - Haters.

A Teaser...

Jordan Knight
Spirit Fingers (aka Jazz Hands)
"Covergirl"
The "Nod"

Oh what a night to remember...
Blanks will be filled when I have 5 seconds to upload legitimate proof.