It's Okay - Right?

It's okay to ...
1. Watch "The Biggest Loser" while eating a gigantic piece of fresh peach pie with whipped cream - as long as you are cheering them on in your head.

2. On that note...Count a forfeited church volleyball game against the Spanish branch as hard core exercise.

3. Be excited when your husband sleepwalks at 2:30 am and ends up on the couch...because now you just may have all the covers to yourself. (No judging - I followed him out to make sure he landed in a safe spot and didn't attack the children in some night-terroristic rage).

4. Announce at the pizza party that you may/may not have been throwing for your church class...that the only two rules are, "No running with the red soda, and no showing your underwear."

I am not quite sure when the dress up clothes got pulled out...somewhere inbetween the ping-pong tourney (that Blair literally drew up a bracket for) and Guitar Hero.

This kid rocked at Expert Level. Very Impressive.

You might wonder what this is.

That would be my daughter, along with 7 or so 11 year old girls, trying to pull the socks off the boys. Abby was dragged (only because she would not let go) across the room screaming, "Give me your socks! Give me your Socks!" You'd think the 5 year age and gender difference would equate a toughness disparity. Not so; she totally got all the socks from the boys.

5. Not have any sort of conclusive ideas about where/when/what if/when our house sells.

6. Blog at work.

Right?

Gentlemen, start your engines.

People are Good.

I genuinely believe this is true.

I have learned this in life over and over again; growing up in California, working for Youth Corrections, and counseling families now.

I do also admit that there have been times my belief has wavered...but, I have usually discovered in those moments that my doubt lied within.

Moments like this remind me of our true human nature.

This is a picture of Deak in a "real-life" race car. (Actually, a world-record breaking royal purple streamliner - thanks Dad:). The people who built this race car have known my dad since he was a kid. My dad grew up around racing, and has a lot of buddies who still contribute to the sport. Deakon also seems drawn to it - and loves to watch the races on TV with my Dad. The men who built this race car are also in charge of the Utah Motorsports Foundation, and have generously offered to help us out with some of our crazy insurance expenses for Deak's medicine.

I was greeted with a hug when I walked through the door.

People are Good.

Just for Kicks

I know many of you saw this...but worth a look again.

One Thing Right

This is not a political stance.
Frankly, I don't have one.
I have opinions on issues, but not party lines.
So, with that respect - I wanted to post this link to a portion of CBS's Evening News last night. (http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4437975n - I will post it as a video later...)
Sarah Palin's nomination has allowed the media to take a closer look on families with special needs children. There was an excellent report given last night on the way parents are treated when they choose to continue with a pregnancy of a chromosomally abnormal child.
Many of you know, I was counseled to abort Deakon several times, and given several options on how to do it. I was told he would not have any kind of quality of life, and that I was doing a diservice to him and my family by bringing him into this world. After, I gave her (Yes, my doctor was female) my absolute decision to have Deakon, I was patronized. I was sent via email, two ridiculous research articles done on aborted fetuses who had been given the same diagnosis as Deakon. There was no medical literature (that they would help me find)on children who had been born - and if I were to find some, I was told, "That would not be the case with your son. He will die." In fact, my original specialist sent a different doctor to see me on my last visit to her office. I guess we had a mutual feeling of disgust for one another.
I have since learned that Perionatlogists are trained to offer abortion of a choromosomally abnormal child as being the only logical decision. They often don't even bring up any other options, or offer resources. Because of that, more than 2/3 of the children are aborted.
I am not judging those who choose differently than I. I empathize with them. We are told such horrendous things about our babies, that it is almost a harder decision to continue with our pregnancies. My life would not be the same without my Deakon. He has brought sense to a world that I often don't understand; and any hardships that have come along with him will be endured, and okay.
So, Sarah Palin's nomination, even if you may not agree with her politically, has done one thing right. It has created a voice for a minority of people in our country who teach us more about feeling human than I ever knew existed.

"Ah, La, Ya."

Deak's first sentence.

It took me a few days to realize what he was saying...and then it hit me. The phrase he hears most often - because truly, with Deak, there isn't a need to say much more.

"I love you."

or in Deak's words...

"Ah, La, Ya."

This kid is an angel.

Just Because.

Deakon has missed his Abby.

Abby passes in and out, on her way to school, dance, soccer, and friends' homes.

Deak and I wait patiently for the moments she gives us, and cross our fingers (or in Deakon's case, toes) that they will not include drama.

It was nice that Ab begged to sit by him at Tasty's today after her first game of the season. His eyes lit up and he began mimicking everything she did. He was included in her world, and it made his day.

On a different note, I remembered that there actually was a time when I used to sit by my husband at restaurants. I think it must've been a long time ago, because it seemed a tad tight on our end of the booth.

The First Step is Admitting you Have a Problem.

I have a problem.
Seriously.
I have had some experience working with drug users. I have seen what they do when they need a fix. I have been amazed at the extent of their sacrifice to get what they need to feel better.
I am there.
I woke up this morning, a work morning, and remembered that I didn't have any caffiene left in my fridge. (I had drank the last one around 11:00 the night before) I felt my heart flutter a bit.
"Crap...what am I going to do? I don't have time to stop."
Peace ensued when I remembered I had some cash in my wallet and I could buy a drink at work in the lounge.
I got to work, realized I had the wrong time for a meeting (a.k.a. I missed it), and saw my pile of clerical "to-do's" that didn't look fun. I knew it was going to be a long day. I walked Ab to class and then reached for my wallet. I basically sprinted into the lounge, put my money in the machine and pulled out my nice and WARM diet Dr. Pepper.
"What the Hell?"
I turned to my friend, a fellow addict, and said, "Do they seriously think we can make it all freaking day with warm drinks?" She just shook her head in agreement and felt my pain. She understands me.
This is when I began looking for a score. I grabbed all my $3 and started looking for a teacher who could leave and get me a drink. I stepped outside my office door and peered around the corner. "Aha, Tonya is here. She'll do it." Unfortunately, she was standing in the main office, right in front of my new Vice Principal. I didn't care...the risk was worth the reward. I quickly handed her my money and quietly said, "Go. Get me a drink on your prep. I can't make it - there's no way."
She whispered, "Okay, I will. But, I don't have one until 1:00."
"CRAP!" (I actually yelled this outloud, for all to hear.) "What am I supposed to do?"
Tonya said, "Just go Jenny. You have to. I'll get you another one at 1:00."
I then grabbed my purse and announced to our secretary, again in the main office, that "I have a problem, and have to leave. I can't do it anymore."
The panic in my voice was apparently very strong. Everyone inside the office turned to look at me with eyes popping out of their heads. I realized then that they probably needed to know that the problem was that I needed caffiene, not Herion. Oh well - whatever I did worked. The unanimous response was, "Go."
So the story ends. I am good now. I have my fix and I have conquered the first step. The problem now lies in the fact that I am most likely going to tell all the other steps to kiss off. Especially the one that says you have to quit.