"Mom, Abby D. told me that "B" didn't like Deakon."
"What are you talking about Abby? I don't know "B."
"She said he thinks he looks funny; like a toad. Oh, and she said he doesn't like the jersey he is wearing."
"Abby - seriously, what are you talking about? And, who the hell is this "B" kid?"
"In my class. He saw our family picture."
"Oh."
I thought I was ready.
Clusters and clusters of my deepest parental fears circled in my head for weeks after I had been told about Deakon's diagnosis. I hurt for him...because of the people I knew would try to hurt him as he grew. I had to feel that pain - so strongly - in order to truly move forward and prepare myself for what he and I would endure together in this life. I knew it would be emotionally draining at times, but what part of being a parent isn't? I also felt like I understood that in Deakon's case, we would probably have the opportunity to forgive others' ignorance more often.
I thought I was ready.
But, I wasn't.
I want to find that kid at school tomorrow, ask him "Who the hell does he think he is?", and duct tape his mouth shut.
But - he is six.
And I am the school counselor.
And I would get fired.
So, I told her to tell "B" to "stuff it" the next time he said anything about our family, and we had a talk. A talk about how she will have to deal with a few more "B's" in this world. She knows - she knows without me telling her. She was born with tough enough skin to handle it, unlike her mother.
Lucky for "B" - it could've been worse, but I understand that for me...it could've been worse also. I doubt "toad" will be the worst word we face.
I just don't think I am as prepared as I thought I was.
Obviously.
14 comments:
First of all, who in the hell is this "Brock" kid and where does he live? Second of all, unfortunately, kids can and will be cruel. It is just a shame that most of the time, the monitoring of such behavior and comments must come from their parents. It's their job to teach their own children how to be respectful and tolerant of all people. It's just to bad that not all kids have parents as great as you guys are to your kids. Deacon has already defied many odds and will continue to do so the rest of his life, that includes dealing with other people's ignorance. To Deacon,don't you worry about those kids, Abby will take care of you. You are beautiful and have the face of an angel!!!!!! Many hugs and kisses.
You know I'm on your side- but just remember this: like you said, he's 6, and because he's not as "aware" or "educated" about loving people who are different- it really is a shame! So hopefully-if his parents can't or won't educate him- than Deak's loving older sister can. and if not- remember this as well- you may be a school counselor who could get fired- but I'm not! ;0)
I would like to say I bet his Mom would die if she knew he'd said that. I think kids are notorious for being suspicious of anything being different. I bet it was more the fact that he's not a Jazz fan though, because it couldn't have been Deacon. I had a "friend" say to me too that Sterling might not be the cutest guy, but he had enough charisma for people to get over that. I did decide to hate her after that.
Oh yeah, that little Abby D should quit gossiping too. She could very well have exaggerated to make "B" sound worse.
Jenny, I believe that the best way to handle something like this is to put "B" in a room with Deakon for five minutes. "B" will come away from that experience as all of us have who have been blessed with the miracle that is Deakon, with the ability to love no matter what the circumstance. Deak makes us all do that. Besides, I get called worse names by your mother all the time:) Love ya, Dad
Okay Jen,
First of all, reading that I can feel my pulse rise. It makes me so frustrated. Second of all, Deak is the cutest little guy ever. Is has the sweetest presence about him. (Maybe someone is jealous) Third of all, if you point this boy out to me I'll let Easton go after him. He could and would gladly take care of him for you.
I'm all for beat the hell out of 'B'. For fear of Remington being called a retard we almost didn't name him that. 'rem the retard was just too easy'...But it's just his name and try as we might we couldn't come up with another one that fit. Brian then and there vowed to beat the hell out of any kid that dared called him a retard. The funny part is I used the retard word all the time in reference to myself. Rems is 5 and when stuff like this happens I still disolve into tears. You're never ready. Over it. Or whatever
You know what? Who really cares what a 6 yr old kid who doesn't know your family from Adam thinks? We love you guys, we love Deak so so much. When people have the opportunity to get to know him and know his spirit, there is no denying what an awesome kid he is. I know that is a lot easier said than done. My heart aches over the thought of you having to deal with the looks, the comments and all that other crap. You can't control others and the mean and horrible things they can do or say. Kids can be mean, adults can be horrible. Just know, you have an army behind you to defend that kid...and that's all the matters.
Enough nice crap! I need to know this kids first and last name, then I need to have a little "chat" with his mom. And I'm not kidding.
I'm with Nikki- I'd like to be in on this "chat" Thanks! We love Deak
I would want to know if my kids ever said anything like that. I would just die. And cry. I would hope someone would tell me. I think you should tell "B"'s mother. It sounds like Abby can handle it and stick up for her cute brother.
I'm with Dad, a moment with Deak and his love will radiate through the little boy. Althought this post made me cry, what do they say what dosen't kill us makes us stronger. I know this is true. Love his glasses. Bill deserves his names.
Jen,
Kids say things about Emily sometimes, like, "Her eyes are weird, how come she doesn't keep them open?" And I don't blame them, because they're young but at the same time, it kind of makes me not like them! Then there's other kids who are just so sweet, and could care less that Em looks and acts different. I guess we get the biggest highs and the biggest lows, don't we? It looks like he's doing fantastic. That's great about the Shriner's hospital. Justin Timberlake does fundraisers for Shriner's-makes you like him, huh?
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