Tide.

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

– Harriet Beecher Stowe

I'm doing better.
Mostly because I have a really, really good husband.
A lot little bit of cheesecake, caffeine and Kyle Korver watching have also been helpful tools.
I still basically want certain freeway issues/people/choices to eat *@#$, but I'm assuming that passionately fueled rage will simmer over time.

Deak got really sick, really, really, really fast last night.
He spiked a fever, turned truly lethargic almost instantly and began coughing.
I held him for a long time.
That chubby belly and cute stubby fingers wrapped around my thumb allow for a light of clarity to shine directly through to my soul.
Blair and I carried him downstairs and I broke down.  I looked at Blair, began to shake my head, and said "No....no. I can't do this too."
My sweet Blair promised he would take care of him, knowing I was at my max.
I prayed he would be okay...because, he was not looking good.

And, he is.
He woke up hopping and asking for shows.
His nose is runny, but he is fine.
He is okay.

My own miracle.
Small, maybe...but, real to me.
And, I really needed the extra boost of faith.

Our tide will turn, and I have a renewed hope that our feet are close to getting wet.
Thank you little jumping bean.