So, Maybe she's not a Sociopath.

And maybe...you will all think I have a really morbid sense of humor. But, truthfully, this has been a developing issue in my mind lately.

I have been reading a book entitled, The Sociopath Next Door. It has captivated me with the author's new ideas regarding anti-social personality disorder (aka the "Freaking Crazies"). To quickly sum up her ideas, she believes that there are different spectrums of the disorder, and that one in twenty people could technically be classified as having no capacity to feel emotions. A pretty daring philosophy...but, in an overall glance at the World's population - very possible.

As I have been reading the book, I have not been able to help my mind from wandering to possible acquaintances/past experiences with people and wondering if "they" were the part of the "one" in twenty the author was referring to. Considering the population of people I have worked with due to my profession, it is likely I have crossed paths with a few...and it is understandable for me to become curious about their possible diagnosis'. But, unfortunately, it has hit home a little closer than that.

And I mean, like way close, as in - Abby.

(Don't let this picture fool you...I had just yelled, "SMILE -Damn it!" due to her adamant refusal to do so. That is probably why Deakon looks as if he's scared for his life).

Exhibit A: Incriminating Evidence.

• Recently Abby and I had a conversation about if she was being treated nicely by her friends at school. I asked her if anyone had ever made fun of her, and she quickly responded with, "MOM. That would NEVER happen to me. Ever."


• I was unaware that Abby recently overheard a private conversation I was having on the phone about a child who was refusing to go to school. The next morning, I awoke to my child refusing to go to school - stating she thought it was "too boring." (She actually loves school and her friends and has never mentioned not liking school ever before). I literally had to drag her to the car and shove food down her mouth. Apparently, she is easily swayed by negative "ideas."


• While driving to school after the above mentioned incident, I told Abby it would probably be a good idea to apologize - to which the response was a short and snotty "Sorry." I then asked her if she even meant it, and she said, "No, I don't really think so."


• After reading an alarmingly similar comparison in my Sociopath book, I began inundating Abby with questions. One of which was the classic, "Abby - would you ever want to hurt an animal, like maybe a dog?" Her response was, "Well yeah...if it was one of those stupid little annoying ones that jump and bite you - I would probably kick it."


• After completely shooting down all my questions and telling me exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear (on purpose)....I asked her if she really needed to talk to a counselor (she had basically pissed me off at this point). Her response was, "Ummm Mom, isn't that what you do?"

Exhibit B: Proof of Innocence.

I don't think a cuter dancer has ever existed. Abby was so excited to perform in her Christmas recital, and if I am bragging (which is probably okay considering I have called her a sociopath in this post),she is pretty dang good. She is the youngest in her class, and totally did the best:)

She loves to cuddle with her Dad. Mostly because he is the one who does the all "fun stuff" (like night sledding in the street). They are actually quite a lot alike...and I think they understand each other better than I understand either of them most of the time.

Abby loves her family...last night she stated that she "loves Grandma because she always does fun crafts and projects for the Holidays." And trust me, when Abby says a compliment of that magnitude - treasure it. It doesn't happen too often.


Thanks to a friend's recent suggestion (Thanks Mel) - we recently began a new tradition using a Christmas "Fairy." We read a story about a Fairy who learns a lesson about how awesome the feeling of "giving" is compared to "receiving." Abby was THRILLED when I told her that the fairy would be making random appearances in our home throughout the season, and each time she did, she would bring two gifts with her. Abby became somewhat disgruntled when I told her she would be in charge of deciding which gift to keep, and which one to give away - and often times, she would want both.

Last night, she opened the first gifts, and wanted them both - of course (a hair bow and a bubble necklace.) She stated that she wanted the bubbles more (even though she knew that was he one obviously for Deakon) and tried to give me the nice lime-green hair bow. I was discouraged, and thought she was being a stinker and purposefully not "understanding" the point of the "Fairy." A few moments later, she opened up the necklace and began blowing bubbles for Deakon. It must've softened her heart to see that huge smile, because I noticed later on that night, after she had gone to bed, that she had placed the necklace by his door.

Abby is one of a kind. As her mom, it has been an unexpected experience to watch this little independent, smart, tough as nails girl grow. I am the opposite - codependent, apparently not very smart, and very emotionally subjective. I have had to accept that with Abby, she will show emotion when she wants; it will never come out when asked. It just isn't her nature. I think I just kind-of assumed my daughter would be just like me, and it has been an adjustment to see that she came with her own ideas and attitudes. Ironically, Abby possesses all the strengths I would wish for in myself. I admire her ability to withstand rejection, accept who she is, and be honest at all costs.

So, although I will continue to question my daughter's judgement at times...I feel pretty secure with my decision that she is capable of emotion. Those gorgeous eyes and toothless smile don't lie.

(I know...scary picture of me. I just couldn't resist the genuine look of Abby in this one.)