Believe.

I find myself slipping and sliding through, for lack of a better term, a "funk" lately.  I've ranged from feeling incredibly blessed and hopeful, to contemplating how little I'd be missed if I just attempted to continue driving rather than take my exit on the way home from work.

I know, sounds extreme right?

Extreme, but honest.

I don't have a life that is easy.

Who does?

And, although there have been times when I have deeply envied the "normal" picture some families paint, I do really understand that "hard" is relative.

My realm of relative is just that...my own.

Hard things build character (so they say), and contrary to some public opinion, I'd like to think I have developed some strength of character.  I'd like to think that although my beliefs may not always directly align with others, I can at least get some credit for honestly sticking to them; even when it's not popular.  I'd like to think that although I complain and stress out and overwhelm myself with self-induced responsibilities, that most of the time my priorities are clearly visible from strangers across the room.

I am sitting in my office today thinking about a good friend; and by good friend, I mean amazing human being.  She is just the kind of friend who freely gives and gives and gives. From vacuums, to midnight text replies, late night drives and even a 12 pack of diet coke delivered to my son's hospital bedside. 

I am lucky to have her in my life.

As my heart breaks in conjunction with hers, selfishly I've used her example to gain insight into my own belief system.

What is our purpose? 

What do I want my children to know I stand for?

Why do I stop the negative thought process, turn on my blinker and exit instinctively?

Interestingly enough, I created a bulletin board in my office very recently entitled simply,"I believe..." 

I guess I wanted my little-bodied friends to leave my room getting a glimpse of what I do know for sure.

I believe...

*"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Professor Dumbledore

*It is essential to understand that battles are primarily won in the hearts of men.  Men respond to leadership in a most remarkable way and once you have won his heart, he will follow you anywhere."

Vince Lombardi

*I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow."

Maya Angelou

and lastly,

*"We judge of a man's wisdom by his hope."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I guess if I limit my often misused fortitude for lengthy discourses on irrelevant subjects, that's it.

That is what I believe.

That is what I will continue working on strengthening within myself and my children.

And,that is what I will deeply breathe in while I push forward today.

One day at a time.