Really, Kids? Really???
Deak (mostly) woke up before 7:00, and Ab before 7:30 this entire weekend (except for Sunday of course...early morning church just so happens to give me a terrible headache). IN FACT, Deak was up and watching Dora at 6:45 am and Abby entered my room about 7:15 and yelled, "GET UP, GOSH!" just yesterday.
Not so much today. I literally had to pull Abby up, without trying to wake up my mom, who was still asleep, as Abby was sleeping on her floor (Question for another day, why does a child, who has never had an issue with sleep suddenly, in her 8th year, begin randomly begin playing bed hopscotch? It is lame, and I have zero patience for it anymore.)
As I pulled her up, walked her into her room to get dressed, I kept hearing mumbling..."I hate school. It is hard and dumb. I want to sleep."
Really? Where was the joyful attitude that was presented yesterday while you tried to torture me?
It had dissipated along with the holiday, I presume.
Where was Deak this entire time, you may wonder?
STILL SLEEPING.
At 8:00.
Like real snoring sleep.
Kill.Me.Now.
#2: Does anybody who writes a love song actually have a child?
After making breakfast and enjoying my morning before I leisurely headed out the door, on-time, to my early morning meeting...
Cough...Cough...
Fine, the truth:
After I screamed at Abby that she better be nice to the sitter and not climb back into bed, I ran to the car, only to realize I didn't have time to take Deak's walker out of the back of my car and leave it for him to have at school nor did I have ANY diet coke, nor time to stop (being as that I was attempting to make it to a meeting that was being held in approximately 45 seconds, and I had a 10 minute drive ahead of me), I turned on the radio.
(What a perfectly lovely run on sentence)
Yes, I turned on the radio...
...only to be serenaded with love songs.
BLAH.
Who has time to put on a black dress and dream about going home to their lover?
Do these people not realize that in order to put on a black dress, go out to dinner and...then...come home and share a romantic evening with your significant other, the following stars have to be aligned correctly?
1. Deakon must not see you in your black dress, or else he will inevitably crawl to you, put his arms up and ask to be held, then promptly bite your shoulder and wipe all leftover milk, goldfish crackers, fruit snacks and random household objects he has recently ingested onto your once clean "black dress."
2. Abby must not see you in your black dress, or else she will through a fit about how "she really wants to go" and "cannot go to sleep without you" and question the reasons why as her mother, you do nothing but think of you, you, you. (Yes, she told me I was thinking too much about myself yesterday).
3. You have to have a pre-arranged babysitter who wants to do the job. Enough said.
4. You have to know the name of a restaurant that is of the caliber of fancy black dress wearing.
5. You have to have $ for said resteraunt in your Dave Ramsey cash envelope, and still be allowed to eat the rest of the month.
6. When you actually do get home, sometime around 9:30, you have to still not want to kill over and die from a) eating so much food as to not feel guilty for blowing the entire food budget on one meal and b) from sheer exhaustion because let's face it, 9:30 is late.
7. Hurry and get the romantic stuff over quick before your 8 year old realizes your home (even if she's sleeping, she's got some warped form of E.S.P.) and decides to open your door that does not lock and hop into bed.
I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm thinking that's a whole hell of a lot of necessary star alignment.
And, I am definitely not that lucky.
I've got more...like why in the hell did the school district I work for think it was a good idea to cut vice principals' jobs and expect me to do two?
But, I figured I'd like to keep my job...so my opinions shall remain voiceless.
4 comments:
I love this post. I mostly love it because it's real. And because I use the phrase "why in THE hell" all the time! It's my favorite :)
Reading this post is perfect birth control for me! :) Just kidding. Good thing your kids are both adorable, right?!
Another classic post! Somehow you've got to get your stars aligned. You deserve it!
um. I hear you on so many levels here.
did you catch modern family this past week? maybe you need your kids to buy you a lock. he he.
its been too long since we red mangoed. we should go again. and another game night would be good too. that beats a black dress and dinner any night, right?
okay. maybe not. but it was fun!
Post a Comment