My Heart is Walking.

I've put off writing about this because my heart is not quite sure if it is ready to expose the depth of emotions these past two weeks have brought me. Words will not begin to do justice to the experience of watching my baby boy take his first long-awaited step away from my arms. Away from my arms and into a world that I am learning to accept he will have to eventually become a part of.

We have waited so long for Deak to get his walker. We were loaned one for the weekend several months ago, and knew we needed to wait until we could get the one that would work best for him. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

He is finally ready. I couldn't make him ready and I couldn't control the timing. I have had to step back the past few months and attempt to take less ownership of his therapeutic accomplishments. Something that is really, really, really hard for me to do. But, it is something that will hopefully help with my sanity.

I expected tantrums at first. I anticipated screaming, yelling and stiff stubborn legs.

I got laughs, smiles, kissy lips and purposeful movement.

It was his choice this time...not mine.

While walking, Deak's eyes light up and he pushes his cute little lips together in concentration. When he arrives at his destination...he claps for himself and his smile takes up his whole face. He feels proud, autonomous, and pretty freaking cool.

In the past 10 or so days we have had the walker, Deak has learned how to maneuver it more than I anticipated he would learn in a month. Today I took my niece, nephew, Abby and Deak to a Children's Museum and decided to venture out into the "real" world with the walker.

Deak had issues with screaming every time the walker or any of us stopped walking, but it was amazing to watch him try and try and try to get where he wanted to go.

My boy has grown up.

We spent some time in the art area and painted pictures. I knew Deak liked it, but I really understood he liked it, when I watched him figure out how to turn the wheels on his walker, and walk twenty or so feet in about four minutes.

His destination...paint project number two.

He got to choose what to do for one of the first times in his life.

And, I got to watch.

The view was pretty cool.