A Not So Kind Reminder...

I am actually attempting to load some really cute pictures, from a really fun weekend, and my computer is being lame. So, I am forced to vent about the horrible experience we have had this week.

My poor Deak.
Sometimes I am so clearly (as in slapped in the face with a board) reminded that his beautiful little body just doesn't always work the same way most do. Blame it on the ring chromosome, or missing genetic material, or whatever...but, this boy sometimes just gets hit too hard.
I took my kids in to get their seasonal flu vaccines on Tuesday afternoon. I admittedly have fallen into the media induced panic, and have had major anxiety about both of my kids getting sick. That was my first problem; no more news for me.
My instincts said "NO," in fact, they screamed it. Blair wasn't sure if it was a good idea for Deak, and I didn't listen. I made the choice to give him the vaccine with the hope that his body and lungs had developed enough the past couple of years, to not warrant a severe reaction. That was problem number two; I didn't listen: to myself, or Blair.
Deak has had severe reactions to vaccines in the past. Our wonderful, wonderful pediatrician suggested we take them "slow" with Deak, and NEVER gave him any shots if he was even slightly sick (even though you are supposedly safe doing so). After Deak had been hospitalized with his beyond low oxygen levels when he was five months old, we took every preventative measure possible to keep his lungs clear of any respiratory infections. This included getting a $1500 (our portion was $750) shot EVERY month through the Winter to help develop antibodies against RSV. Well, long story short, Deak still got RSV...and proceeded to get it again for at least a week every month right after being injected with the supposed "dead" vaccine. Our doctor couldn't really explain it, and neither could we...but, we had had enough and made the joint decision to discontinue the shots.
The following year (last year) I opted not to get the flu shot for Deak. He had had them as a baby, and I remembered how he had reacted poorly...(although I didn't remember enough).
That brings us to this year, and Deak is terribly sick.
I am not an idiot (although debatable at times)...I know that technically he cannot get the "flu" from a partially dead injection (although his pediatrician did inform me yesterday that even the injection does contain a small portion of the "live" virus). But, here he is, lying on the floor in his little make-shift bed with what I would call "Influenza A." He has been sick for about 36 hours now; high fever, lethargy, moaning whenever he moves (which I assume to be body aches), coughing, congestion, and overall crappiness. He was perfectly HEALTHY 36 hours ago.

I called our pediatrician again today, and they explained that because Deak is Deak...he just tolerates vaccines differently. His body has basically gone into overdrive trying to protect itself from the flu virus I so willingly subjected it to a few days ago. He is not contagious...he is just fighting a virus that in my opinion, he should have never been given.
Ab received the Flumist ''live" vaccine and has been completely fine.
So, how does one know when their child will be "fine" or desperately sick?
I am tired of the guessing game, and not happy that Deak falls into the 1% category or whatever of people who react this way. I cannot imagine for one second what parents who feel vaccines changed their child in such a way that they became Autistic, feel like. I empathize with them. My heart hurts for them.

Will I participate in the H1N1 vaccine?
Hell no.
But, it's okay if you do. It's just not right for Deak.